«Bitterly!» — the guests shouted to the happy newlyweds, wishing happiness and mutual understanding! So that the candy-bouquet period does not end as long as possible, you need to discuss all the important issues before the official marriage.
Finally, the proposal is made, the tears of happiness are wiped away, the bachelorette party is ordered. It’s time to add some cold reality. Find out the unexplained and talk heart to heart. We suggest you pay attention to some aspects of family life, and sort them out before the wedding. So that unpleasant discoveries do not overshadow your happy family life.
Of course, you are already familiar with many of the habits and passions of your lover, but it’s time to look at them from the side of everyday life. And how much are you willing to put up with them. For example, your young man on weekends with friends buy fatter roach and absorb it, washing down with a couple of cases of beer. Or he is an ardent boxing fan and will not miss a single fight for anything. And you, for example, like to do a manicure on Fridays under the TV series, and, by the way, the smell of nail polish terribly annoys your chosen one.
There are still a huge number of nuances that you will encounter in family life. This is sleep and wake mode. For example, you like to soak up the bed longer, and your boyfriend snores and likes to wake up at 6 in the morning to the melodic sounds of Rammstein. Also rest, find out what options for a joint or non-joint vacation suit both of you, how you will spend your weekends. Noisy companies, romantic evenings or cozy gatherings at home, the choice is yours. Harmful and not so bad habits of each other. For example, you like to spend Saturday evening with a girlfriend and a bottle of sparkling wine, and your future husband is an ardent supporter of a healthy lifestyle. In general, everything is decided and discussed, the main thing is to compromise with each other. Also, it would not be superfluous to have a conversation on the topic: «What do you like about me and what annoys you.»
It is much easier to take on parental responsibilities than to «shift» from them. A very important point, sooner or later this question will become, isn’t it easier to discuss it right away so that there are no misunderstandings? Find out if you want children? When? How? How do you see your parent role. It would be nice to decide on the methods of contraception.
It is important to discuss how you imagine the family budget. Will it be joint, or does someone alone earn? Or maybe everyone has their own budget. It would be nice to know the income level of your loved one in order to have an idea of what standard of living awaits you. It will not be superfluous to clarify the issue of debts and loans, which will then be your total responsibility. Also discuss the terms of large purchases, for example, do they always need to be negotiated? Just do not plan this conversation for one day, as this will greatly scare your future husband.
Try to roughly distribute who and what will do. The modern world has long gone beyond patriarchal relations. For example, you cook breakfast and iron things, while your spouse cooks dinner and vacuums. Find out the most disliked or unacceptable duties and try to come to a consensus.
6. Stressful and conflict situations
I don’t want to disappoint you, but they will still be there. Only one repair in the apartment is worth it! If you haven’t had conflicts before, find out how your spouse reacts to stress. For starters, during a conversation or with mutual friends. Perhaps he needs moral support at this moment, or vice versa, he needs to be allowed to be alone for some time. Also pay attention to whether your future husband is prone to identifying non-verbal aggression and lovingly resolve conflicts with his fists.
7. We are in 10, 20, 30 years
Talk about how you see yourself in years to come, in old age. What would you do, what would you look like, where would you live? This will help you understand if you have one goal? Are your priorities and plans for the future similar?
Of course, you can’t insure yourself against everything and you can’t foresee everything. The main thing is to love each other, try to understand and support your soul mate.